NEWS FLASH

Middle East: Bush's Road To Pieces
The Washington Past
BY: I.P. Freely

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Lousiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only
the following facts about the terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

A Pentagon spokesperson said, "We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Monday."