Letting Sleeping Dragons Lie...

Lets go back to previous emails about relationships and hypothetical situations... um... really hypothetical... seriously... no really!

(Actually, it is. It's based on conversations I've had with friends [male and female] over the last few years that I've pulled together here since I've recently been reminded of them.)

So what do you do when you know someone, a friend, acqaintance, or coworker, and are interested in them and they don't know? Do you approach it? Do you risk it? or - Do you let sleeping dragons lie?

There's no easy way is there? You either have to ask the question or simply forget about it. There's no way to get that person to answer the question without giving yourself away right? What do you do when you seem to have such a dynamic and fun rapore with someone, and so many common interests, but there's that thin wall in the way of full realization?

How do you get that person to know without actually having to say IT?

How do you get beyond the friendly jokes and shoulder-to-cry-on "buddy" relationship?

How do you make that person "figure it out"?

You know, women think men are dumb when it comes to this stuff, but you ladies are often many times worse. Why? Because you rely on your male "buddies" for the tearful times, the shoulder-to-cry-on times, the shitty times when some other guy has just ripped out your heart... again... and we just wanna go beat the snot out of him, and provide you with a firm hug, comfort and understanding while you're either soaking our shirt with tears, or drowning your sorrows in a beer with us at the bar. Do you have any idea how hard that is?

We're your safety net. We're the ones you talk to when you need real advice. We're the ones you go to when you need to understand what "HE" means by some comment "HE" made, or when you need to understand what it is "HE" is doing that's making you so miserable. We're the ones who'll still be there for all those things 5, 10, 20 years later when "HE" is nothing but a scar and a faded memory. We're the nice guys.

So anyway... this isn't meant as a bitch session. Just an eye opener. Guys screw up and get hurt all the time, we just don't dump on other people about it. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just hard sometimes ALWAYS being the dumpee and seeing people you care about get hurt over and over again.

Hmmmm..? So how did I go from unrequited love to the perils of Mr. Niceguy? Well, they're both related in a way. Nice guys are usually thinking something like: You know, if you'd just give me half of what you gave him... - or - I won't rip your heart out every-other-week like the guys you keep pursuing. - or - ...you get the idea. But you know, we like that you rely on us for those times when you need someone to tell you it'll be okay. We want to be your shoulder when you need it. It's just the way we're made.

So, it's that thing about watching someone pursue something that is almost completely unattainable, either because of distance, or involvement, or some other reason, vs. just looking over your should to see the one standing there. Taking the next step beyond friendship and risk screwing up the whole thing, or just let sleeping dragons lie.

But this is all just hypothetical... right?