Royksopp - Remind Me (Geico Version)

Yep, it's the music from the caveman commercial when he's on the people-mover going through the airport. I love it.

Pretty sad when you find the coolest newer tunes in TV commercials!

(especially since I can't stand Geico). Oh well. Good Tunes! :-)

Get a calculator ready!

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read .

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758...

5a. If you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number. (I.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!)

THIS IS APPARENTLY THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK

Who on Earth has time to sit and figure these things out???

Su-Fi Mutha F...

Dane Cook. He really has his moments. Sometimes he makes me laugh so hard I cry. Sometimes he just makes me think "Ok that's gross" and change the channel. But not this time! This time he's a crazy funny Mutha-F... Damn this is funny!



Thanks go to GI Sam with the Kung-Fu grip for making me aware of the above clip! :-*

PS: I thought this might be a nice change from my recent political rantings. ;-)

Death & Taxes

The Mantra of the Tax-and-Spend Democrats

Tax his land, Tax his wage, Tax the bed in which he lays.

Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes are the rule.

Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, then Tax his coat.

Tax his ties, Tax his shirts, Tax his work, and Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his booze, Tax his beers, If he cries, then Tax his tears.

Tax his bills, Tax his gas, Tax his notes, and Tax his cash.

Tax him good and let him know That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, Tax him more, Tax him 'til he's good and sore.

Tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,'Taxes drove me to my doom!'

And when he's gone,We won't relax,We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!!!

TAXES:
Accounts Receivable TaxBuilding Permit TaxCDL License TaxCigarette TaxCorporate Income TaxDog License TaxFederal Income TaxFederal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)Fishing License TaxFood License TaxFuel Perm it TaxGasoline TaxHunting License TaxInheritance TaxInventory TaxIRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),Liquor Tax,Luxury Tax,Marriage License Tax,Medicare Tax,Property Tax,Real Estate Tax,Service charge taxes,Social Security Tax,Road Usage Tax (Truckers),Sales Taxes, Recreational Vehicle Tax,School Tax,State Income Tax,State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),Telephone Federal Excise Tax,Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,Telephone Federal, State and Local Su rcharge Tax,Telephone Minimum Usage Su rcharge Tax,Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,Telephone State and Local Tax,Telephone Usage Charge Tax,Utility Tax,Vehicle License Registration Tax,Vehicle Sales Tax,Watercraft Registration Tax,Well Permit Tax,Workers Compensation Tax.

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened? Can you spell 'politicians'??? What the heck happened?????

Eloquent...?

People from all sides of the political arena very consistently comment on Barrack Obama's eloquence, his erudite elocution, his as President Bush might put it, “his abilitousness for good speachification.”

He should be giving his wife lessons in proper “speachification” to avoid the openly ignorant revelation that she has never been proud to be an American before. Or at least get her hooked up with a better speech writer! That was just plain dumb.

I’m sure also, almost everyone has seen bits and pieces, if not the entire event, of Senator Obama’s recent speech to address racial issues, and his stance on comments made by the pastor of the church he is a member of.

Well, did anyone else catch this line from Senator Obama’s speech?...

"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it."

WTF?

In case you didn’t catch it the first time, that was, "My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it."

Say what???

I told you, he said, "My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it."

Oh. That’s what I thought he said. Well, all I can think of to say in response to Senator Obama is…

There was also a recent policy question posed to Senator Obama regarding how he would progress the US Military’s mission in Iraq. Senator Obama replied his first act as President of the United States would be to initiate the complete withdrawal of all US forces from Iraq.

A follow-up question was asked about, what then would he do about Al Qaida? Senator Obama, put forward an obviously well informed and wise policy type response that, if after complete withdrawal of US Forces from Iraq it was discovered that Al Qaida was operating there, we would send troops back to deal with them.

Exsqueeze me? Uh… HELLO? Houston, we have a problem! Pardon me sir, but Al Qaida is ALREADY IN IRAQ!!! WTF?

So basically, it seems to me the Distinguished Gentlemen from Illinois, is an incredibly eloquent, yet badly misinformed, ...fool?


fool : noun
Text: 1 a person who lacks good sense or judgment
Synonyms: boob, half-wit, jackass, lunatic, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, nut, simpleton, turkey, yo-yo

A lack of good sense? Yep. That sums it up pretty well.

Let's say I break into your house

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Her point:

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal aliens.

Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, 'No! I like it here. It's better than my house. I've made all the beds, and washed the dishes, and done the laundry, and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters:

• You are Required to let me stay in your house
• You are Required to feed me
• You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
• You are Required to educate my kids
• You are Required to provide other benefits to me & to my family (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest, [except for that breaking in part]).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket yourhouse carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house. And what a deal it is for me!!!

I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted elitist behavior.

Oh yeah, and I DEMAND that you learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! If you agree, please pass this message on to your voting US Citizen friends (in English ). Share it if you see the value of it.

If not, you can blow it off......... along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.