Being a US Citizen living outside the USA I get alot of interesting and sometimes StRAngE questions/comments on the USA from people in other countries. Thought I'd share some of them with you.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Outside Looking Inside

This blog entry is courtesy of Siren who wants to know all our deep dark secrets. I couldn't post answers as a reply on her blog since the system was having spasms of some technical sort. So, I'll post it here in the hopes others will also post it on their blogs. I'm not going to start tagging people, you'll all just have to volunteer.

Siren asks:
1. What's your favorite breakfast cereal?
Honey Nut Cheerios

2. What do you consider to be "comfort food" and why?
Banana & Peanut Butter sandwiches – Don’t know. I just love bananas.
Mom’s Pot Roast – I remember coming home from school and smelling the pot roast cooking in the Crock Pot. Mom made a pot roast that would simply melt in your mouth. I’m salivating just thinking about it.
Mom’s Meat Loaf – I grew up eating it. It was yummy. Just makes me think about home and simpler times.
And to me, Chicken Soup is like medicine! It’s what I want when I don’t feel well. And a half pack of saltine crackers to go with it.

3. How do you think people saw you in high school?
Tall, thin, somewhat geeky, and never fitting in 100% with any one circle of friends. When I had a party it was a very eclectic collection of friends who otherwise never really associated with each other. Not because they didn’t like each other, just because they had different interests. Mike Pace was one of my best friends all through HS. If it had been a category we’d probably have been voted Least Likely to Hang-out Together. He of the muscular swimmer build, blond hair, blue eyes, and Billy Idol hair-do, and me, the slightly geekish, short-haired, straight-n-narrow appearing ROTC.

4. How do you think people see you now?
Tall, un-thin, principled, logical, funny, creative, trustworthy, honest, reliable, and occasionally naughty.

5. Why did it change/not change?
Because it matters less when you get older what you look like, than what you can do, and how you conduct yourself while doing it. All my friends these days (in Asia) are professional friends. So, we see each other 99% in a work environment, it does change the way you percieve people. I've worked with people I really liked outside of work but that I thought were professionally worthless, and I've had friends I wouldn't want to work with but hung out with daily. Takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.

6. At what age did you realize that you in fact did know what you were doing sexually and weren't just fumbling around down there? (Much more interesting than when you lost your virginity, in my opinion.)
Around 22 or 23 I think, but does anyone know 100%? I don’t think so. Everybody’s different, and it takes time, experience, and feedback to figure out what pleases each person. I think I always got the most satisfaction from discovering a button that no one had ever pushed for someone before. In the Orient, that’s a lot of women. Being in a male dominated culture, it seems most women just are used to being treated as nothing more than a convenient hole in a mattress and seem to react… um… pleasantly surprised when they discover a guy who’s focus is to… er… please them shall we say.

7. Briefly describe your most memorable sexual encounter? (No need for Letters to Penthouse - just tell me what's so memorable about it.)
Um… wow. How do you answer that one? They’re all memorable, and no that’s not a cop-out. But as far as memorable for being outside the norm?
1) Meeting two girls at the drive through of McDonalds and then spending two or so hours in the back of their suburban in the parking lot comes to mind.
2) Having a bunch of girls who worked at a friend of mines bar throw me a birthday party – there were about 10 of them and I was the only guy present. It was a surprise party, and clothing was reduced to an occasional towel. It was memorable, and it’s a long story about why they would do that – go back up and read number 6 again. (These were both obviously in my single days).
3) And then anytime with my wife. No one makes me feel inside the way she does, even after 6 years of marriage – of course no one aggravates me quite as much either, but it balances out.

8. Did you plan to have all your children or were there any "accidents"? If you don't have kids, why not?
They were both planned, and two’s enough for us.

9. Hypothetically at least, could you ever adopt a child?
Yes. Without a doubt. Another child, but without the complications, and difficulties Sunisa has had during pregnancy would be great!

10. Do you read strangers' blogs? If so, why?
Yes. Because it’s interesting to see what is important to other people, and possibly connect with them.

My Birthday Song

I got this from Kelly

Go HERE to see what the number one song was on the charts the day you were born.

Mine is a sappy, mushy, romantic tune, but I've always liked it. It's catchy and easy to whistle.

Okay, okay, so it's always been on my all-time-faves list of sappy, mushy, romantic, kiss-me-now kinda tunes.

...Alright so I'm lieing again! I love this song and I have a deep down incurable streak of romantic mushiness. Damn. You people are so pushy sometimes!

Go HERE to find lyrics for other sappy, mushy, romantic, kiss-me-now, incurable streak of romantic mushiness songs.

3 April 1967

Happy Together - The Turtles

Imagine me and you I do
I think about you day and night
It's only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight
So happy together

If I should call you up invest a dime
And you say you belong to me
And ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be
So very fine
So happy together

I cant see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together

I cant see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together

So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We're happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I had nothing better to do so...

The weirdest thing happened to me yesterday…


I’d been having some stomach pain for a few days and thought maybe it was something I ate. I hadn’t (sorry for the nasty detail) pooped in days either. So I went to the hospital (in Thailand Dr.’s don’t have private offices, they all work out of the Hospitals). I got there and checked in with the receptionist.




She put my info and symptoms into the computer and walked me over to the Dr’s waiting room. When the nurse came in I also seemed to be experiencing a rather rapid pulse, and my heart was pounding. When she took my blood pressure she noted those symptoms on her pad as well.


Because I was also beginning to sweat (can't imagine why that would happen) a lot she called in another nurse
to take some blood for testing, and hook me up to an IV drip with some antibiotics since I was apparently losing a lot of fluids for some reason I was having trouble articulating.

She asked me to lie back on the table as she asked about my other less visible symptoms… I assume she meant the stomach pain I was experiencing. She began that weird poking and pushing on my stomach that medical people do, and every time she pushed on my lower left abdomen I’d grunt with the pain. She then smiled and asked me to wait just a moment as she went to speak with the doctor.

A minute later the Doctor came into the room and said the nurse thought I had blockage, but that she’d better check. Yep! Sure enough. She confirmed it. She suggested a colonic and called in a specialist to assist with the process.




I felt SOOOoooo much better after the process was completed. Though I was experiencing a weird sloshing sound and some trouble walking afterward. I didn’t really feel like driving home, so I hailed a passing taxi who then pulled over, and was kind enough to assist me into the car. Thailand being in the tropics, the uniforms are a bit lighter than what we’re all used to in the USA, but the service is good and the people friendly. You get used to it.

When I got home the maid opened the door feather duster in hand. I was surprised since it was now mid-afternoon and normally my wife is home. She said the Missus had gone to my daughter’s school and wouldn’t be back until later since they had to get her new school books, supplies, and get her measured for the new school uniform. I was just happy I didn’t have to do it – language issues and all that can be a real pain sometimes.




As I was about to walk upstairs and blog my experience for all my friends to commisurate on my miserable malady the doorbell rang. The maid was in the laundry room so I went to the door myself. I had forgotten right now it’s that time of year when Ho Scouts come around our neighborhood to sell their… um… cookies.


Whatever the reason I was glad I didn’t have to leave the house, which is probably a little devil whispering in my ear, it certainly wasn’t an angel, but at the time I didn’t care.




I wanted to be home so I could catch the replay of last night’s Oakland Raiders, Kansas City Chiefs football game. Which is weird because their seasons are over. But, we don’t get many games over here in Thailand so any game is worth watching. Especially since cheerleaders in the USA style haven’t completely caught on over here.





My wife and daughter finally got home, and we watched the news. One report was on how the local crime rate was up and the local jail was being upgraded and enlarged to manage the growth in the prisoner population, and the Police were looking to hire more security guards to handle the new facility.

With all that behind me (no pun intended), it was time to get the kids off to bed. I sometimes read my daughter a bedtime story. She has always loved Snow White. Yawn! Personally I've always felt The Wizard of Oz is better, and it was time for a new book. So, I grabbed a copy of the original Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum. What a great classic!





After the kids were asleep, Sunisa and I thought we’d watch a movie, we wanted something fun with some action – she picked Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny Depp was awesome in that movie! And I’ve always had a thing for masted ships and black powder cannon from the age of sail.

Though even after seeing the Doctor and her willing supportive staff
I was still experiencing strange symptoms. I started hearing a weird buzzing sound in my ear. I couldn’t quite place it, and it kept getting louder and louder. Then my eyes snapped open as my wife shoved me out of the bed. It was all just a dream.


Whew! That whole (again no pun intended) rubber glove and colonic thing gives me chills. Chills? Hmmm… maybe I should go see the doctor?

Spring Break/Holiday

Hey everybody! Looks like I should be back in Huntsvegas for a week in April. I know a lot of you don't live there anymore, but it'd be great if we could do a mini-reunion between 8 April to 14 April. My wife Sunisa will be there as well, so it would be a chance for her to meet all of you (though maybe I should be scared of that prospect).

Lolalicious: YOU MUST BRING NEAL!!!

Samalicious: YOU MUST BRING DON!!! (I really want to meet him)

Bisquick: It would be great to finally meet Rob if he can come, and the kids since it's spring break.

Hipchick: YOU MUST BRING THAT RED SHIRT FROM THE HNT PHOTO!!! (just kidding)

Siren o'licious: YOU MUST BRING BETH LECHNER! (haha) Bring whatever you want, I just really hope you can make it!

Kelly o'licious: YOU MUST TAKE GAS-EX BEFORE YOU COME!!! Just bring yourself.

Nekkid Memphis Dude: YOU MUST BRING YOURSELF!!! Hope you can get away from work/Memphis for a weekend or something.

(all those words in caps should be shouted in a big booming voice by a giant floating green head with flames shooting up around it - ala Wizard of Oz, for the appropriate effect)

So the next questions, I think it would be great to do a picnic up on the mountain with kids and all (if the weather is okay), and then that night, if we can all get baby sitters, we big kids could all head down to The Corner, or some other suitable drinking establishment.

Thoughts????

Friday, January 20, 2006

UNBELIEVABLE!

Well, seems my posting of pictures for posterity has been rewarded by some pretty interesting commentary. No offence to any of you, but I have to say Siren has the most interesting of the comments, and a pretty scary ability to remember things so far back, and with such frightening accuracy, that I don't know whether to be greatly impressed or horribly frightened! :-)

She actually remembers MY first kiss better than I do and she was the facilitator, not a participant! Man! What's up with that? That's so completely not fair! Where is Beth Lechner these days anyway? I think I could do it better now. ;-)

And then there were the other two ladies of my Chaffee Elementary days... Anne Sour (I'm probably not spelling her name right), and Shannon O'Meara. What I recall is that Anne's family moved to Greece in 2nd grade (really bummed me out), and Shannon? I lost track of her during high school, anybody know how she's doing these days? There were others, but those are the two that left the biggest impact on me. If anyone can have an impact on you in grade school that is.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Blast from the Past!

Well, I couldn't make it to the 20 year HS reunion, and you know, come to think of it I didn't even make it to our 1985 Graduation! ...I did graduate by the way. I just wasn't present at commencement. Here's why...

Seargent Rock I ain't!


And by popular demand... emphasis on "demand", Kelly asked for it, and what Kelly asks, Kelly gets:


A bit of Paul Stanley meets Sheena Easton from Halloween 1984. Good Lord! Could those parachute pants be any tighter? What I wouldn't give to have a waistline that size again!

In the back you can see Gray Killough and Donna Brown sucking face, Mike Pace and someone nose-to-nose, and some moustachioed guy I don't remember.

Funny yes? Ah, the good ole days!

Maybe everyone can post a pic from way back when?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Oops!

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife
looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her! my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "shit."

Monday, January 16, 2006

Check This Out...

I saw this on ZebraDude's blog... this is the funniest thing I've seen in a long long time! If you've got broadband internet check this out...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7861502862996216292&pr=goog-sl

Someone had WAY too much time on their hands, but I'm glad they did!

Family Photo Time!

Well if I can get the KISS album cover to load I should be able to get family photos to load to right? Maybe? Please?

The whole family group shot:


(I really need to exercise more!)

And now the really cute kid shots. Oldest first. Marisa is going to be 4 in February 2006! I can't believe so much time has passed. It's just been way too quick. Seems like just yesterday she was still pooping in pampers.



Nicholas is 9 months old as of 13 Jan 2006. Seems like I was just cutting the cord yesterday and being the dutiful husband waiting on my wife hand-and-foot, changing diapers at 3am, and generally averaging about 2.5 hours sleep per night. Yikes! Glad he's a bit older these days, but definitely not easier to handle. His only words right now are Momma, and mum-mum (eat), but he's already standing and just about ready to start walking, and no we haven't baby-safed the house yet. It's on my to-do list.



Well, I'm off to a meeting. Enjoy the pics. Hope I can keep posting more now that the server seems to be working!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Kisstory


(LOOKY LOOKY! I finally got a freakin' picture to load!!!)

Well, I have lots to say but I'm too damn tired to type it all. Instead I'll simply leave you with a song. This one reminds me of a particularly memorable night, at a friends house, with a certain someone, with the lights off, the night before Mike Seay and I headed down to Gulf Shores for a pretty fucking fun week of drunken debauchery, and just happens to be from one of my favorite groups (before they took off the makeup!)

Something most of you don't know about me... I was a HUGE KISS head in HS. Mike Seay and I went to every concert we could. Somehow I got permission to go to Nashville, Atlanta, and B'ham to see them. Saw their final concert in Makeup 3 times with Mike one month in their final makeup laden tour "Creatures of the Night"! We painted our faces and all that crazy teenage weirdness. Had to get my mother to help with the lipstick though (I was Paul Stanley "Star Child"). Mom said she'd never heard of anyone taking 15 minutes to put on lipstick (I really just didn't get it) and finally did it for me. Well hey dammit Mom! I'm straight. How many straight high school boys did you know who new how to put on lipstick? Wait. Don't answer that. I don't want to know.

I even have a picture on my wall here at home from a halloween party in High School where I painted my face (again) and I'm dancing with Kelly. My wife likes the picture too. She's amazed I did things like that (and that two people so vastly different in height could date for the better part of 3 years! I think I need to scan that one and post it here!!! Mike pace was there, Neal I think you were there, Gray Killough was there, Mike Seay was there, and Kelly and I were obviously there.

Hmmm... seems I had some energy to write after all. :-)

So, without further adieu, I give you my...

LOVE GUN

I really love you baby
I love what you’ve got
Let’s get together, we can
Get hot
No more tomorrow, baby
Time is today
Girl, I can make you feel
Okay

No place for hidin’ baby
No place to run
You pull the trigger of my
Love gun, (love gun), love gun
Love gun, (love gun), love gun

You can’t forget me baby
Don’t try to lie
You’ll never leave me, mama
So don’t try
I’ll be a gambler, baby
Lay down the bet
We get together, mama
You’ll sweat

No place for hidin’ baby
No place to run
You pull the trigger of my
Love gun, (love gun), love gun
Love gun, (love gun), love gun
Love gun, love gun

Love gun, (love gun), love gun
Love gun, (love gun)
Love gun, (love gun), love gun
Love gun, (love gun), love gun
Love gun, (love gun)
Love gun, (love gun)
Love gun, (love gun)
Love gun, (love)