Mohammed now #2 boy’s name in UK.

Interesting title yes? I found the article posted on the Daily Adult Joke blog.

***

Didn’t take long. The Islamization of Europe is proceeding apace.

"Muhammad is now second only to Jack as the most popular name for baby boys in Britain and is likely to rise to No 1 by next year, a study by The Times has found. The name, if all 14 different spellings are included, was shared by 5,991 newborn boys last year, beating Thomas into third place, followed by Joshua and Oliver.
Scholars said that the name’s rise up the league table was driven partly by the growing number of young Muslims having families, coupled with the desire to name their child in honour of the Prophet."

***

So, if this is true, this is going to make things interesting in the school classrooms...

1. Taking attendance? Mohammed? "here"; Muhamed? "here"' Muhammud? "here"; Muhommed? "here"... etc.

2. Class photos? They'll be blank because everyone knows it's against Islamic law to create images of Mohammed, right?

3. School Lunch Menu? "What's this?" "It's a hamburger." "But I can't eat ham." "It's made of beef." "Oh. So it's a beefburger?" "No. It's a hamburger." "But you just said it was made of beef?" "Yes. It's a hamburger made of beef." "But there's no ham?" "No." "Then why is it a 'hamburger' and not a beefburger?" "Because it was invented in Hamburg, Germany you idiot!" "Oh. I see.... Is it Halal?" "AAAAAAAARRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrgh!"

Useless Holiday Photos

Don't get me wrong, I have no predjudice againts followers of Islam. I have many very good friends who are Muslims. I do however think some people carry things a bit too far. Christians, Jews, Hindus, and buddhists can be just as guilty of this. Reading that article though... it just seemed funny when I started thinking about it. ;-)

DEAD or ALIVE

Well, I just saw the movie DOA: Dead or Alive. Not going to win any oscars, but in general, if you liked movies like Mortal Combat and TMNT, then you'll love DOA! Plus, it's chock full of cool action scenes with scantily clad drool-worthy hotties like Jaime Pressly and Holly Valance!!!

Jaime Pressly is my new goddess by the way. My apologies to Lucy Liu and Halle Berry, but Jaime (in my book) is a complete, 100%, without a doubt 10. Okay, Okay. So I also still think Lucy and Halle are 10's, but Jaime is my new 10. :-)

Oh and the fact that she was on stage with Paul Stanley just throws all kinds of brownie points in her direction if you ask me!

I was surprised to see Robin Shou in the movie. Man is he looking old in this flick! When was the first Mortal Combat made anyway??? Has it been that long that he's starting to look like an old guy with sunken eyes, and skin stretched thin and taughtly over bony features? Whatever the case, he's an awesome fight choreographer! I was watching the credits to see if he was the one who did the fight planning for DOA, but didn't see a credit for that position for some reason.

DOA in the opening scene with Devon Aoki is a bit wooden in dialog. Actually, there are a lot of scenes where the dialog is overly formal and ridiculously wooden. Nobody actually talks like that. "Princess Kasumi, you must not leave, or you will become shinobi and we must kill you!" So... waaaaaay too formal when it's supposed to be said by someone who's in love with the chick, and the delivery is so wooden you'd think it was a computer.

The fight scenes though, most of the fight scenes were pretty damn cool. Jamie's final DOA fight against the character Zakk, and Devon Aoki's (Princess Kasumi) fight against the HUGE Leon were the best in the movie. Holly Valance's fight at the very start of the movie is good, and very funny when she tells the cop to "Do me up." (meaning her bra). Love the Aussie accent.

So the movie could have been better, but it could have been a lot worse also. My wife says next time (if they make a number 2) she'll bring more tissue to wipe the drool off my chin for me. ;-)

Coolness!

I love maps. I've always loved maps. When I was a kid, one third of my room was covered in STAR WARS posters, another third was covered by Farah Fawcett, the final third was covered by maps. Usually these were the really colorful, informative maps found in National Geographic.

Right now I have a giant map of the world framed and hanging on the wall outside my daughters room. I used to have colored pins stuck in it for all the places I've been lucky enough to visit (yes I even consider myself lucky to have been places like Pakistan and Majuro). I've taken those pins out though, not safe with a 5 and a 2 year old running around. My daughter and I regularly go to the map and we talk about where we live, where grandaddy is, where Nana lives, etc. She's gotten pretty good at it. For some reason she could actually read CANADA before she ever went to school and learned to read. I've always been puzzled by that.

Anyway, now I have yet another cool new map. This one is from www.ClustrMaps.com it's at the bottom of my sidebar. It visually displays where the visitors to your blog are coming from. I just installed it so it's blank for now. I don't get lots of hits, because I'm a fairly sporadic blogger, but it's still a pretty cool gadget goodie for the web.

It's free, you should try it.

AT LAST!

Well today the moving company confirmed the date. Our stuff (at least what we are shipping back) will be loaded on the truck and sent to the port on 23 July! That's only 1 week from tomorrow! Then only 1 week after that we'll take off on our 24 hour oddessy back to the USA and all new and wonderful stresses, trials and tribulations. I can't wait! :-)

It's really sad that we haven't been able to sell this house here in Thailand. It may be even more sad we can't just take it with us, it's been a great home. Of course living in a house made of concrete instead of wood comes with a whole different set of issues, but it's been a very good home.

Oh yes... over here everything's built with steel reinforced concrete and brick. My house has pyramidal footers that run 3+ meters underground to reduce shifting (because concret doesn't flex right?) It's great when you have small kids though because it's a lot more sound-proof!

One thing I've always liked about the way things are done in Asia is there's no central water heater. Every bathroom and kitchen has it's own miniature tankless water heater. These things are great! No long waits for the water to run through the houses pipes to get wherever you want the hot water, and they don't waste energy constantly reheating a tank full of water. Conversely, one thing I really DON'T like in asia is there's no central A/C. Every room where you want A/C has it's own unit. That's wasteful also since each one of them uses almost as much power as a single central air unit in the USA. Oh well, everthing has pros and cons right?

Someday in the future the Thai government may loosen the restrictions on foreign ownership of detached homes and we can sell this place. Until then we're stuck with it.

Family Portrait and stuff

I liked the Simpson's Avatar Creator so much, (not to mention that I am as of now incredibly bored) I decided to do an entire family portrait. Did you know that the Simpson's live in Springfield? Did you know that there's a "Springfield in every one of the the contiguous 48 states of the continental US? That's why Groenig picked that name.

By the way I just finished watching the movie "Bridge to Terabithia". Damn! It was a tear-jerker. My daughter (who cried when Dumbo's mother was locked up) was pretty much in pieces. They should warn you of those things on the labels! It's not fair to edit a preview to make something look like a fun romp through fairyland, and then hit you with tragedy when you see the real thing. >:-\ I'm really not happy about it.

I remember as a kid of 5 getting scared when the wicked witch threw the fireball at Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. I remember also, as a kid of maybe 7, getting sick and actually throwing up during the Passover scene of the 10 Commandments. The part when the angel of death was killing all the first-born children in the houses that didn't have the lambs blood on the door (I think it was the fact it was innocent children being killed that did it to me). I remember being unable to sleep and just laying in bed staring at my closet door for hours after seeing Poltergeist. I remember being scared shitless after watching The Omen and The Omen II. Movies based on my personal beliefs are always the scariest. I've never really been scared by the traditional scary movies. Most of them are pretty laughable, and I hate blood and gore just for the sake of grossing people out, it really doesn't cover the fact that the story sucks. However, stuff based on our actual beliefs like that Angel of Death scene? or the whole Damien series of movies... those bug me... a lot.

Doh!

Thanks to Rick I have a Simpson's Avatar! How cool is that?!

You can make your own in Springfield!

I edited it a bit to add the Falcons logo (think they'll win any this year?), by the end of the football season I may have to edit it again with a paper bag over the head if he keeps wearing that shirt. We'll see. Oh, and I added the two-tone shirt. Other than that, the rest is from the Avatar creator on the Simpson's site.

Enjoy!

Spinning... ?!

My good friend JY has become an instructor for "Spinning". I think that's really cool. However, I have no idea where that name for this activity comes from. What the hell is "Spinning"? To me it's the old joke about a kid with a bucket on his head making himself so dizzy he runs into a wall and knocks himself out. Or, maybe it's something to do with a guy named Rumplestiltskin. I just don't know how it applys to a bunch of people on stationary bikes. What part of them is spinning exactly? I used to ride bikes alot. I rode from Huntsville, AL to Mobile, AL (365 miles) once just for kicks, but I don't recall ever spinning while doing it.

Gyros spin, tops spin, the Earth spins, but people on stationary bikes don't spin, they pedal. Pedalling turns the sprocket which, through a chain, belt, or system of gears causes the wheel of a bicycle to rotate, or ...well... spin, but the person isn't spining, the wheel is. So why is it called spinning when it's an exercise regime performed by pedalling? It's really more accurate to call it resistance training right? Because isn't that what you do in a Stationary Bike exercise class? You simulate hills and level ground through varying resistance and pace? So shouldn't it be Stationary Bike Resistance Training? SBRT? If you say it quickly it almost sounds like Sport (but with more of an 'er' sound)

I tried to look it up - "Spinning" I mean. It's not included in any dictionary. Websters has the following definitions:

Main Entry: spin

Function: verb

Etymology: Middle English spinnen, from Old English spinnan; akin to Old High German spinnan to spin and perhaps to Lithuanian spesti to set (a trap)

intransitive verb

1 : to draw out and twist fiber into yarn or thread

2 : to form a thread by extruding a viscous rapidly hardening fluid -- used especially of a spider or insect

3 a : to revolve rapidly : GYRATE b : to feel as if in a whirl : REEL

4 : to move swiftly especially on or as if on wheels or in a vehicle

5 : to fish with spinning bait : TROLL

6 a of an airplane : to fall in a spin b : to plunge helplessly and out of control

7 : to engage in spin control (as in politics)

transitive verb

1 a : to draw out and twist into yarns or threads b : to produce by drawing out and twisting a fibrous material

2 : to form (as a web or cocoon) by spinning

3 a : to stretch out or extend (as a story) lengthily : PROTRACT -- usually used with out b : to evolve, express, or fabricate by processes of mind or imagination

4 : to cause to whirl : impart spin to

5 : to shape into threadlike form in manufacture; also : to manufacture by a whirling process

6 : to set (records or compact discs) rotating on a player : PLAY

7 : to present (as information) with a particular spin

Now some of you may latch onto the 'transitive verb' definition number 4. Sorry, no. That only refers to applying "spin" as a verb, not Spinning the proper noun. Here's the actually Websters definition of 'Spinning'

Main Entry: spinning

Function: noun

: a method of fishing in which a lure is cast by use of a light flexible rod, a spinning reel, and a light line

Hmmm.... no mention of exercise. If you look up "exercise" you will see it is a noun, not a verb. If you look up a form of exercise with a proper title like say... Aerobics, you will see it is in the dictionary and also a noun.

Therefore, if "Spinning" is a proper title for a "form of exercise" then it's name must be a noun, but it's not in a dictionary with the other exercise programs such as aerobics, etc.

Okay, I'm narrowing it down. So, I went to http://www.spinning.com/ to see what I could see.

As it turns out, Spinning is not spinning at all. It's actually SPINNING which is a trademark name for a course of exercise and exercise products based on indoor cycling.

Indoor cycling? The bikes, excuse me, the SPINNERs don't move right? So shouldn't it be Stationary Cycling? There are indoor cycling tracks after all where people go with bikes that move when pedalled, and can't the SPINNERs be placed outside for the classes if you really wanted to? I don't know, I couldn't find that answer on the website.

So, if we sit on a SPINNER and pedal it, then it's called SPINNING? Um... actually, no. According to Mad Dogg Athletics, Inc. (owner of the SPINNING trademark), they say SPINNING should not be used as a verb or a noun, or to refer to a stationary/indoor exercise class that isn't using or taught by real SPINNER equipment and certified SPINNING instructors. It's simply a trademark, but it can be used for referring to the SPINNING exercise program. So people in a SPINNING class are not Spinners or Spinning right? Yep. They are just indoor (stationary) cyclers on SPINNERS taking a SPINNING course.

Alright, well I've beaten this subject enough. In my quest for knowledge I have learned how to not use a trademark as a noun or verb, but to apply it in simulated-noun form when refering to it's trademarked um.... thingy, and related certified equipment and materials while simultaneously not refering to those people utilizing said trademark thingies in any simulated-noun trademark related fashion. er... yeah. Someting like that.

All I can say now is, JY if you read this, if you head back south, I'll be signing up (at least for the winter months). :-)

Up on the Soapbox

Okay. So, maybe that last post was a little over the top. I'm not usually so vocal or so prone to breathing fire. I just tend to feel very very strongly about that topic. Especially having been through the entire process of immigration processing with my wife. It's not cheap, it's not easy, it's definitely not quick, and I resent the puffed-up buffoons in the capitol who only care what interest groups think without consideration for either the voting public, the law, or the safety of our people.

Speaking of Safety... did you know that local and state police don't even have a method of communication with USCIS (immigration) enforcement teams? Local and state police have no jurisdiction within their own areas to enforce immigration law?

You as a US Citizen... all you can do is FAX a letter to a USCIS number in Washington DC and hope they'll actually read it. There's no email. There's no hotline. There's no actually process at all for us to report KNOWN illegals. Forget about suspected illegals, we can't even report the ones we have 100% proof positive about.

That's just plain stupid.

What is USCIS's Enforcement Division doing about it? Nothing. Not a damn thing. They have no real interest in it actually. They are up to their eyeballs in paperwork and bureaucracy.

They have a backlog of somewhere around 2 million applications. They process something like 800k refugee requests per year... and the backlog grows by something like 50% per year. I don't remember the exact statistics, but what is really staggering is - they still do it all manually with pen, paper, and filing cabinets. There's no computer automation. No electronic processing at all.

After 9/11 their budget for IT enhancement of their system was redirected for formation of DHS (Department of Homeland Security) and never re-budgeted in any fiscal plan afterward.

What's their solution? Raise the application fees. And what will the increased fees pay for? More clerks and analysts to manually process more applications.

Here we are in the 21st century, and our entire system for processing immigration applications and related materials is done by hand and courier.

Ladies and gentlemen, this isn't Somalia, or Burma, or Laos, Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan or some other developing nation, this is the United States of America. Surely we can do better than this?

Immigration

I'm so tired of the yahoos on capitol hill. It's really the "lifers" that get in there, and seem to stay there forever like Strom Thurmond did, that annoy me. This whole issue regarding immigration reform, border control, and what to do with the illegals already here is a stupid, moronic, complete and absolute cluster-fuck of people with no balls trying to please constituents that can't even vote.


People... they've broken the FUCKING LAW! That's why they are called ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS! What part of ILLEGAL do you not understand?


There is no question that many of them provide a needed service and an inexpensive labor force, but there is also no question that a large number of them do not.

• They pay no taxes which means they don't contribute to national, state, or local infrastructure.


• They pay no taxes which means they don't contribute to payment of national, state, or local law enforcement or other emergency services.


• They pay no taxes which meanse they don't contribute to payment for our public school system.


• If they are sick or injured and require urgent medical care, who pays for it? Taxpayers because they have no insurance.


• If they are driving a vehicle and have an accident and people are hurt, who pays for it? The individual hurt because the ILLEGAL driver has no insurance.

My wife is a LEGAL immigrant. It took us THREE FUCKING YEARS of paperwork, appointments, large fees, and much patience to jump through all the USCIS (Immigration Department) legal hoops to get her Green Card. THREE YEARS! And these idiots in congress want to give a general amnesty to these 12 million people who've done exactly NOTHING to deserve it except BREAK THE LAW? NO.


Take a looks at this link from CNN and see if YOU still want to grant amnesty.


http://www.forthecause.us/media/ftc-video-CNN-AmnestyBillsWorstProvisions_070523.wmv

Absolutely lets fix the situation. But you guys on capitol hill can't see past your noses, and refuse to listen to the people who put you in office in the first place. But just in case, here's the solution:

1. Build a great big fucking wall from Port Isabel, Texas all the way to San Diego, California.

• This isn't just to keep out farm and construction workers, this is to keep out drugs, weapons, terrorists, and other things we definitely don't want, but which cross the southern border daily.


• Bring back chain-gangs, and build the wall using hard-time prison labor. Our prisons are overflowing, put the malcontents to some good use for all the tax dollars spent to feed, clothe, house, and educate them.

2. Grant the ones here a path to citizenship similar to that of the LEGAL immigrants.

• Make them pay a penalty to at least partially compensate for the lack of taxes paid during their ILLEGAL adventure in our country.


• Make them pay for the application and processing fees just like all the LEGAL immigrants


• Make them take classes on US government and basic US history so they'll know what the USA is and stands for.


• Make them learn to speak, read, and write ENGLISH! Come on, they use the same alphabet, it's not that hard! I worked in Mexico a total of about 3 months, what did I do? I made an effort to speak Spanish. I've lived in Thailand for 6.5 years, what have I done? I've learned to speak Thai (and they DON'T use an alphabet even remotely resembling English)

3. Creat a Guest-Worker Visa program

• If you don't legalize it, you can't control it


• Get them on the books


• Get them a visa that grants them 1 year multi-entry and employment availability for the USA


• Limit the types of professions the guest-worker visa can be used for... e.g. Agricultural and Light non-Industrial Construction.


• Do not allow guest workers to work in Licensed professions. This includes driving, beautician, electrician, heavy equipment operation, welding, health care, etc.


• Guest workers must be paid a national minimum wage. Keep in mind minimum wage still places people under the poverty income level.


• Guest workers must pay taxes. I would suggest a reduced rate flate tax with the US and Mexican (or other government) sharing of the proceeds. Maybe a 75/25 split. With the 25% given to the foreign government being guaranteed for use on public education, and infrastructure improvements.

Bottom line is, we absolutely MUST regain control of our border if we are to remain safe in our homes. People in Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and California, but TX and AZ especially have people running through their yards, hiding in their sheds, and generally scaring the shit out of them on a regular basis either as they run from the border patrols or police on their way to find work, sell drugs and weapons, or just to have their baby in a US Hospital so their child can claim US Citizenship.

They've broken the law. They don't deserve special treatment. They aren't refugees escaping war, political or religious persecution. I've been to refugee camps in Africa and Thailand. I know the haunted looks of fear and desperation real refugees have. These ILLEGAL immigrants are just law breakers. Nothing else.

Let them come, but let them follow the legal process and enjoy the same rights and privileges and contribute to the common good just as we all do. It's the only way to ensure their own safety and equitable treatment, and the only way to ensure the security of our nation.

Eclectricitousness

Okay, so don't yell at me too loudly for changing the music to pop-dance crap. I'm in a dance mood and I have very eclectic taste in music. I go through phases. Sometimes I live in the '80's, sometimes I immerse myself in techno and electronica (great for waking up in the morning); occasionally I hit a dark patch and switch to more metal sounds like Linkin Park, SoundGarden, AudioSlave, or similar; sometimes I prefer the sort of ethereal sounds of an Evanescence, Eta James, or Sarah McLachlan; other times I go all "golden age" and whip out the Dean Martin, Andrews Sisters, Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, Doris Day... all insanely cheerful, rose-colored glasses kind of music. Mozart will always be my all-time favorite composer, but I love Wagner, Rachmaninoff, and so many of the classics.

So there's no way to effectively sort my CD's. If I go by genre then sometimes their will only be one or two in a category. If I sort by artist name alphabetically that works okay, but then I'll wind up with the Amadeus soundtrack next to AC/DC, and the Motels next to Mozart, or (God Forbid) Destiny's Child (Bootiliscious) next to Doris Day (Que Sera Sera).... some artists just shouldn't share the same space... it's almost sacrilegious.

Anyway, if you don't like the music playing... just push "Stop". :-p

Good Times!

Gathering of Middle-Aged Men in Search of Beer and Fun

If all my USA-based lady friends can have a Florida "GoG" (Gathering of Goddesses) [thanks to JY for the definition] then can all us poor deserted hubbies have a GoMAMiSoBaF?

Can we uh... have it in Pattaya, Thailand?

Just curious.

Done Deal!

Well, I/We have our tickets. We're heading back. For those of you who asked (sorry it's taken so long to respond) "here" means H'patch. We'll be arriving on 1 August after a 25 hour trip from the other side of the planet. Our household items should arrive sometime before Christmas. You've heard of "taking the slow boat to China"? Well, it's that same boat that freights everything to the USA as well.

Apparently, all the delays and consternation in trying to work out the transfer offers over here in Asia have all been because of a global hiring freeze in the IT department the global CIO only just recently told everyone about. So, what have I been waiting for all this time?

Time to get on with life.

We've got a renter for our house over here (Thailand) for the next 12 months. HOORAY! That certainly makes things a bit easier now that we don't have to worry about the house being unattended. And we'll make it back to the USA just barely in time to get the kids in school by the 8 August start date! (assuming we've all recovered from the massive jet lag of moving almost exactly half-way around the world.

Steve: To answer your previous question; I'm in IT same as you. Formerly a network engineer and system architect. Microsloth and Cisco certified. Now though, I mostly manage the people conducting the day-to-day operations. The last couple years have been spent as the regional contract manager for Asia-Pacific for all the IT outsourcing contracts... 45 contracts across 11 countries, at 24 business units with 6 major suppliers. After that, I think everythings going to feel like a much slower pace, and I'll be happy to have a bit more personal time.

So, looking forward to getting home, and hope to see all of you again soon!!!!

Cheers!